The Myth: Telling your lover that you’ve forgiven him or her for whatever dreadful, ordinarily unforgivable thing they’ve done to you is the mature thing to do in a relationship. You want your relationship to work, and saying that you forgive your mate is the first step to making that happen.
Reality: It’s easy to say that you’ve forgiven someone. It’s much harder to actually do it.
If you find yourself constantly bringing up the dreaded sin whenever you get into an argument, or dwelling on it in silence while your partner thinks everything is cool, you probably still have some bitterness that you need to work out before your relationship can ever progress or get back on track. While it’s cozy to believe that just because you said that you’ve forgiven, you actually have, not truly being forgiving of your partner’s transgression will you both miserable in a relationship that will inevitably fail.
If you can’t really forgive– and that means, let go of the past– you need to move on and save both you and your partner the heartache of carrying around a load of baggage.
How to Apply the Thing You Just Learned:
Step #1- Honestly evaluate whether or not you are truly capable of getting over whatever your partner has done.
Step #2- If you find yourself constantly thinking about it or bringing it up every time you have an argument, chances are, you are still angry and haven’t truly forgiven yet.
Step #3- Move on if you need to. Save your peace of mind,and possibly, your next relationship.